Drunker than a drunk monkey...

Camel bag: Anne Klein, Animal print bag: Nine West,

Button down longsleeves: Topman, Tie: SM Department Store,

Belt: Topman, Trousers: Old Navy,

Shoes: ZARA

Everythinng's gonna be alright!

Everythings's gonna be alright, it reminds me of a stanza in a Bob Marley song. I forgot the title though.

Didn't you notice that in every action we make, whether good or bad, we somehow hear people around us say, "Don't worry, everything's gonna be alright." It's kinda reassuring at times especially when you are in such bad situation.

I think, everyone of us have also said the same phrase one way or the other to make someone at peace. It is quite comforting in a way. It's one line you can tell someone when you don't know what else to say.

The past couple of days have been the most nerve-wracking days of my life.

I have been in a state where I could've lost someone who means the world to me, my Dad.

It was the worst feeling ever and I almost lose hope but because I know that there are so many people who are backing me up and continuously lifting my spirit, I didn't give in.

It's very uplifting when you know that there are people who actually cared. It's very overwhelming when without even asking for anything, good deeds just overflow your way.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT.

That same line that used be such a cliche is so powerful especially when you need reassurance and comfort.

I have heard the said line for so many times in the past and I thought that people say this because it's the safest phrase you can tell someone who's in trouble.

The past couple of days, the same line became my pillar of strength in order for me to keep my sanity. I didn't expect that this line can actually make me believe that it really is true, everything can be alright.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT.

It's the best way to tell someone that there's always hope. In every dark cloud, there lies a rainbow that gives us hope. That embraces of fears. That lifts our spirits. That makes us believe.

You people are my rainbow. You gave me hope. You kiss away my fears. You lift my spirit. You made me believe and for that THANK YOU.

Indeed, EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT.

Can't you just let it stop?

Can't you just let it stop?

That's all I'm asking for....
Waking up in the morning seeing someone you love suffering in not a simple matter. This is exactly what I have to deal with every day.

For quite sometime now, my Dad has been seriously sick. He's dealing with pain for a long time now. As a Family, we have been dealing with it together with him. Lemme tell you, it's not easy. We all need to stay strong for my father. It's not just him who's fighting this battle, we are fighting with him.

I, personally, can say that this is not just a simple battle because we don't even know how to fight it. But we are doing our best in any which way.

I have heard so much from so many people with regards to how to deal with it. We have tried so many ways. We need to find a good Doctor/Hospital... We need to get the right medicine.... We need to watch his diet... We need to be with him all the time... We need to pray... WE HAVE TRIED AND DONE ALL THAT!

How would you feel or deal with waking up everyday seeing SOMEONE you love suffering and giving up?

Yeah, my Dad is giving up now. We know that he's been struggling with this battle for quite sometime now. Like him, we are all tired now. My Dad is just tired now... And it kills us knowing that he is. He knows that we are with him, fighting with him. The worst part of it is, he's just the only who's getting all the blows. We can also feel the each gust but not as solid as he does. He is so beaten up that's why he's already giving up.

What will you do if you see your love one suffering each day?

No matter how much you wanna help him, it feels like you just don't have any power to do so. It kills me every time I see him tormented from so much pain. I have been praying so hard in order for me to get all the pain away from him. I'm young and stronger than him, I can deal with it. I have been praying so hard to spare my dad from all the suffering. I am... I truly am.

How would you feel when you know that you have given enough to help someone you love but nothing seems to matter?

Maybe what we thought as enough is not even half enough to help my Dad. Maybe the kind of enough we know is just less than what we should have been giving him. Maybe Enough is not just ENOUGH.

I want his pain to go. I want him to get well. I want to stop his misery. I want him to stay strong. I want him to live....

What/How will you feel if you see the end in the eyes of SOMEONE you love the most?

I don't wanna give up. I wanna continue to fight. I wanna be his strength. I wanna be tough for him.... I wanna HUG him, tell him I LOVE HIM, ask him not to give up... Pa, please for us... please...

But if his time is nearing its end, can it be just quick. Quick that he won't feel anything. His pain is just too much and it's not fair to prolong his agony. Just make it quick. Don't let him suffer anymore... You can just let it stop. Please just let it stop....

And it happened again....

And it happened all over again!

Have you ever been so drunk that the next day you couldn't even remember even a snippet of what transpired the previous night?
Well, that does happen to me all the time!

It all started when our whole department decided to grab a drink after work. Because it was payday that day, everybody became so ecstatic about "chillaxing" that night.

We all walked going to the nearest joint where there's an available ice-cold-beer.A couple of beers has turned into a few glasses of weng-weng.

Conversations started to flow, from politics to religion, serious to silly stuff, work and play, girlfriend and boyfriend, sex and sex, gay or straight and so much more.

Some of us called it a night but me and my posse was just about to start!

More money, more booze, I need to party, can somebody get me some cig?, I wanna hook up, "cute boys, here we come," where's the cab?, how do we get there?.... LETS GO!

There we saw ourselves getting in this new establishment...
SO, what are we having???Ok, lets settle for this....
And so, the drinking started...

Nice crowd, Nice music, Nice booze, Nice drinking partners...

I started dancing after i half emptied my glass... I dunno about you but i can't seem to help it when I'm already tipsy and the music is banging, I just need to DANCE!

Yeah! Tugz, tugz, tugz.... The base is hitting me like waves and it feels really good.

I need more drink and I need to smoke...

Then after that, __________?

I already don't know....

Come next day, I found myself sprawled in my bed with a big bangin' hangover.

F*ck, my head hurts like hell and my throat just aches... I need water... lots of water...

WAIT!!!

How the hell did I get home? Where's my bag? My money? Who brought me home? Is it "V"? I don't think so, she lives on the other part of the Metro. Is it "E"? No, I don't think so! She doesn't even know where I live. Is it "R"? Where the hell is "R" last night? For some reason I can't seem to remember his presence last night.

Ok, my bag is here, my money isn't, my mobile is here, my shoes, my pants, all my stuff are here! But HOW DID I GET HERE? I need to ask one of them how i got home. But wait, this is like a dejavu. All of this has happened already. It's like a dream... I'm definitely dreaming. I was drinking, dancing, flirting, having fun, and then, ________?

How can I be dreaming if I just woke up? If this is just a dream then how come my head hurts so bad?

A few months, weeks, days ago, I have been in the same situation like this and I also can't remember anything. Was I also dreaming that time when it happened?

Then suddenly, I heard, "NO! You freakin' sonafagun!".... Is that an angel talking to me? Did something really bad happened to me last night and now an angel is talking to me?

"Get your ass off the bed and we need to talk!"

No, that's not a voice of an angel!

But it does really sound familiar.

OMFG! It's my MOM! And she's fuming mad!

Hahahaha....

Indeed, it wasn't an angel who I heard earlier that day. It was my Mom and she told me that I was so drunk and shouting outside our gate. She even told me that I woke up some of our neighbors. I think that it's an exaggeration of course. Me, waking up some neighbors by just screaming outside the gate? i don't think so!

Another weekend have passed and i say that I have finally got the rest that I have been needing so bad. Another day at work and somehow I feel like i still wanted to go back to slumber and rest till it's weekend again but I CANNOT! As i stepped inside the office, I saw "E" but I didn't have the guts to ask her what happened that weekend. I somehow feel that I did something wrong and I'm not ready for the embarrassment. Hehehe... But tell me, how do you manage to get over something embarrassing that you don't even know in the first place? Well, I"ll just wait for them to confront me.

"Toot Toot!"

There goes my mobile, who could this be? An early message from "V"... Hmmm, what does she need this time... then...
"Walang-hiya ka! Mag-uusap pa tayo ha!"
Oh my! Did i really do something awful that night?
Oh my! this is the end of me!

Lunchtime:

"V" finally came in, late of course! As she approached me, my heart starts beating really fast out of nervousness.
"So what did I do last weekend?" I asked.
"Where did you go that night?", "You left us!", "It doesn't matter coz I also left after I got out of the restroom... hehehe" She said.
"What the hell happened to us?" in unison we asked each other then we started laughing.

I do remember a bit during that time. We were having a blast. We were dancing and just having fun. We were drowning ourselves with Vodka. Tis really funny that sometimes you just won't remember a thing when you're having so much fun. For sure, we will have more of this and at the end, we will all laugh and tell ourselves that we are indeed crazy!