"Magsimba ka kasi..."

"Magsimba ka kasi..."

That's the usual line that i get from telling people about my dilemna these days...

About a year ago, my dad was diagnose of kidney failure. It's one of those diseases that occur from an acute situation or chronic problems. T'was really hard for us (family) to deal with it coz we know that it needs a lot of medication and financial support.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital since then. Every other week would be an exaggeration but it's true. We are starting to run out of monetary funding's for the hospitalization and that makes it a lot harder.

Just recently, i convinced my Mom to have a general check up coz we wanna make sure that she's in tip top shape and of course we wanna avoid such illness that might lead us to more stuff like what my dad is going thru. After her mammogram, the doctor told us that there's a big mass inside her left breast. WHAM BAM! that was a sure hitter! She was advised to get a biopsy in order to find out the real deal about that thingy inside her. After few days we got the result of her test and another BIG BANG just hit us unexpectedly. She needs to undergo an operation in order to chop off her left breast coz the fist sized mass inside her is cancerous.

How would you exactly feel if both of your parents are undergoing a certain problem such as this one? Me, admittedly, it's like a big blow on my chest. Such blow that leaves you emotionless. I wanted to cry but for some odd reason, tears just won't flow out of my eyes. I wanted to scream but there seemed to be nothing to scream about. I wanted to go ballistic but I just can't. It's like there's this overwhelming power inside me that just won't go out and it's totally driving me mad.

I started telling my friends about it but of course as expected, they just listened to me and told me "kaya mo yan" after. I also my workmates and they said "why don't you pray?"... It's not that I don't pray but my point is out of all the billions or maybe trillions of people who are praying at the same time with me asking for help or whatnot, what are the chances that I will be heard?

Then, in unison, people started telling me "Magsimba ka kasi..." Will it surely help if I go to church? And if I do so, is there any chance that I can be heard and attend to at once for my request? If prayer can heal, how come so many are dying every second of the day? And if I do pray, how long do I have to wait before I can get an answer?

Why does things like this has to happen? For sure, I'll be getting "There's a purpose in all your trials" as an answer. Ok, granted that it has a purpose, then what is it? When do I know the reason behind this? When i don't need to know anymore? When it's already late?

"Magsimba ka kasi..." - will this truly help?