I just wanna scream!!!

I just wanna pull my hair off my head, run naked and scream till i pass out!

That's how I actually feel right now....



Well, the reason why I feel that way as of this moment is because of the project that I'm working on these past few days.

Have you ever tried calling people and request a meeting?

Me, that's what I do everyday!

First, you have to deal with telephone operators who takes so long to answer calls or chances are you'll come across a recorded voice prompt that would be so irritating to listen to.

Second, your call would land in some department that isn't even the right department that you are looking for.

Third, some bore employee will pick up your call and transfer you to the right person that you are calling or if it's your lucky day, He, She, It, will ask you to call again.

Forth, after going thru with all the hassle (1-3), the secretary of the person that you're looking for will just tell you to call again coz her boss is in a meeting, talking with someone, out, on leave or worst, "just send us a proposal."



How come it's so damn hard to find people when you need them the most? But when those same people are trying to look for you, it's so easy to find you?

It's like asking a Politicians/Government Officers for help. When you need to ask help from them it's so hard to find them. You have to go through so many people and more just to find them and when you already did, it's gonna be doubly hard to request for a meeting with them or they would be too busy to accommodate you and you will be asked to just deal with the 1st person you spoke with before you actually met his presence.

How come it's so effin' easy for them to manipulate the general masses to vote for them and yet they couldn't even spare their two cents with you?

In a few months, its gonna be election again and for those of you out there who are voting, pls. be wiser this time. Lets not claim to be a wise voter when we are really not.

Lets not vote based on the popularity of some political figure.

Lets not vote for future promises coz what's important is now.

Lets not vote because this person would look good on our monetary bill.

Lets not vote for more flyovers, basketball courts, sidewalks, highways, Xmas lanterns, chicken wires, newly painted buildings, monuments, grand cityhalls, business trips, lavish dinners, ets.

Lets vote for somebody who has a consciences. Lets vote for somebody who will be willing to listen.

Lets vote for somebody who will not just enriched himself but who will enriched the whole Republic. Lets vote for somebody who really cares.

Oh well, it's really hard when you can't seem to control all the thoughts inside your head. Silly stuff such as this just keeps coming. To think that it just all started with my foolish rantings about work and setting up meetings.

Whateves, for whatever it is, lets just all work to make our future so bright it can blind us. Hehehe...

San Mig Light...

One cold San Mig Light pls....

It's Friday again, the last working day of the week. I'm pretty excited as to whats instore for me after office hours. Normally on a Friday night, me and my friends would surely find a way to get drunk and crazy. But that was a few years back...

Funny that when you really think about it, it's really an insane thing to spend some much effort on dressing up, getting drunk and keeping yourself stand straight the whole night when all you wanna do is have fun with all these people that are just as crazy as you are. Well, that was us back then.

Suddenly, from being a whole group, we started drifting apart as an individual ( in a better way though). We all started getting our so-called niche in life. Nobody among us have ever thought that we will be in wherever we are now. I'm not saying that we are all accomplished respectively but where we are now is so much better than where we used to be. Life for us before was so much simpler, a lot of fun, full of laughter and totally crazy. Today, we all have responsibilities, problems and so many other things to face. I, personally, think that if given a chance to choose between my life now and my life before, I would grab the chance to settle for the latter. If only life gets simpler as time goes by but no, it doesn't infact, I really think (know) that life gets harder and harder each day.

Where do you wanna go? What are you gonna wear? Where do you wanna meet? What are you drinking? What time are we going home or are we still going home? Hahahaha... All these questions are part of my yesterday. It definitely brings a smile. Place to go to? Clothes to wear? Meeting place? Choice of drink? Going home early or still going elsewhere? These are the only problems from my yesterday. Wish that its all just the same.

Oh well, being nostalgic is not the way that I should spend my Friday, that's for sure. Tonight, I'll just be staying home. Not literally though coz I'll be at a friend's pad. We are both looking forward spending our Friday night watching movies. I know that this is way tooooo simple from what we used to do but we're not complaining. Just a relaxing night with a friend who I have been with since my crazy yesterdays till my simple todays. Just me, her, old movies, chips, pillows, comforter and a cold SAN MIG LIGHT...

"Magsimba ka kasi..."

"Magsimba ka kasi..."

That's the usual line that i get from telling people about my dilemna these days...

About a year ago, my dad was diagnose of kidney failure. It's one of those diseases that occur from an acute situation or chronic problems. T'was really hard for us (family) to deal with it coz we know that it needs a lot of medication and financial support.

My dad has been in and out of the hospital since then. Every other week would be an exaggeration but it's true. We are starting to run out of monetary funding's for the hospitalization and that makes it a lot harder.

Just recently, i convinced my Mom to have a general check up coz we wanna make sure that she's in tip top shape and of course we wanna avoid such illness that might lead us to more stuff like what my dad is going thru. After her mammogram, the doctor told us that there's a big mass inside her left breast. WHAM BAM! that was a sure hitter! She was advised to get a biopsy in order to find out the real deal about that thingy inside her. After few days we got the result of her test and another BIG BANG just hit us unexpectedly. She needs to undergo an operation in order to chop off her left breast coz the fist sized mass inside her is cancerous.

How would you exactly feel if both of your parents are undergoing a certain problem such as this one? Me, admittedly, it's like a big blow on my chest. Such blow that leaves you emotionless. I wanted to cry but for some odd reason, tears just won't flow out of my eyes. I wanted to scream but there seemed to be nothing to scream about. I wanted to go ballistic but I just can't. It's like there's this overwhelming power inside me that just won't go out and it's totally driving me mad.

I started telling my friends about it but of course as expected, they just listened to me and told me "kaya mo yan" after. I also my workmates and they said "why don't you pray?"... It's not that I don't pray but my point is out of all the billions or maybe trillions of people who are praying at the same time with me asking for help or whatnot, what are the chances that I will be heard?

Then, in unison, people started telling me "Magsimba ka kasi..." Will it surely help if I go to church? And if I do so, is there any chance that I can be heard and attend to at once for my request? If prayer can heal, how come so many are dying every second of the day? And if I do pray, how long do I have to wait before I can get an answer?

Why does things like this has to happen? For sure, I'll be getting "There's a purpose in all your trials" as an answer. Ok, granted that it has a purpose, then what is it? When do I know the reason behind this? When i don't need to know anymore? When it's already late?

"Magsimba ka kasi..." - will this truly help?